Are people capable of change?  I'm beginning to wonder—I know I have said multiple times I want to change, become a different, better person.  Have I. . . I think not.  I'm still the same dull, silent wall flower.  Wishing I was apart of something instead of just watching from the outside.

Yesterday was our Christmas Brunch at MOPS. . .  I stood in the middle of the room watching as the room grew increasingly crowded.  Listening as the voices grew in holiday excitement all around me.  I stood wondering what the heck is wrong with me. . .  why is it that I am incapable of carrying on a conversation, why is it that my brain just freezes up and I can't think of a darn thing to further the conversation?

But the morning did get better.  We finally were asked to sit down and I was faced with a friendly somewhat familiar face and was drawn into the conversation.  The girl sitting to my left was a first timer . . . turns out we have a bit in common.  She actually lives just down the street for us.  Her husband just got out of the military and her girls are 5 and 6.  I found myself chuckling to myself, as this woman was basically carrying the conversation at our end of the table and actually had the nerve to say that she had become an introvert since moving to the country.  Please I thought . . . you must not know the definition of the word! 

I also have a future party looming in the future and am so excited!  I'm working hard to convince myself that if I can just make it through DEC with out going in active that I will in fact have a fabulous 2006!  I'm looking forward to this dreadful year being over and just a memory.  I have high hopes for the New Year and our new life in CNY.